La La Love

I didn't realise it at first. I went on to watch it because everyone did and, although I don't trust mass callings, I booked the tickets and went with the flow.

With the first scene, we were ready to get up and go.  "It didn't even start, and they're singing already?" said me, the arty one.

La La Land? Really?

I loved it. I'm crazy about it.

There's something about me and my way of being in the moment, that blocks everything of the past out. I move, and I move fast, because I have this ability to close and open new chapters without staying in the past. But sometimes, and always unexpectedly, I get this load of memories, and feelings, and emotions, from another time. And then I make space for them. And I get a bit happy, and a bit sad. Happy because I love what I remember.  Sad well, because I want to go back in time and live it again, the exact same way. And that ain't going to happen. I'm not in any way idealising the past. Never did, never will. But you got to recognise what was beautiful and what ugly for what it was. Plenty of beautiful and plenty of ugly. 

I talked with friends about it and realised that we all see different things in it. And yes maybe there's this you-can't-have-it-all message coming out, especially because of the way it ends. But what I know is that (and tears aside) it made me happy.

The music? I loved it so much that even though I haven't played the piano for almost 20years, I started downloading the songs to give it a try next time I'm at my parents' home. What's a musical without good music? I don't know because I don't like musicals. But seriously I felt so connected with the music, it wouldn't be the same without it. 

It's like a tribute to this badly challenging, fun, ambitious, sexy, colourful, time of when you were super young, and new, and stubborn. That's the most obvious joy I got out of the movie. The least obvious one is that it always, always ends. Stories end. And there's no one ending. There're many endings. We all know it, right? Those movies that make a beautiful effort to remind me that, are my favourite. They make me happy. I felt the same after I watched The Straight Story. Totally different movie, I know. But it "told" me that beginnings are looking for new endings. A fact. 

That's how I decided to see it. And that's how I see most of my life choices. I'm not easy, I'm stubborn, I make huge mistakes. But I mostly decide to see them for what they are. It helps that I love facts. And I'm constantly dreaming. So sisters, if you feel you're missing something from when you were younger, or from your past, dream about it and change it! Go get it. Not the same, different this time. You can't be the same, and you can't be anything you want. That's mellow commercial quotes. But you can try to be who you are today. And you can look back or not. Whatever. Just dream more.

La La Land says you choose the story. And if you can't have it all, you decide what you want to keep.

Be well. 

La La Love.

Sofia